Do Daddies Dream of Electric Sheep?

… This one certainly does now that my life has been made ever-so-slightly easier, thanks to the soft and fuzzy awesomeness that is Sleep Sheep.

So the increasingly fussy Peanut has been sleeping less and less over the past couple of weeks. This means Mommy and Daddy have been sleeping less, too. Daddy would be happy to just suck it up and go with it if he didn’t run the risk of falling asleep at work or in the car. Something had to be done before I nodded off and renovated the Whole Foods Market on Ventura with my Honda Civic.

The Missus did a web search for stuffed animals that emitted a sound like a mother’s heartbeat, which infants supposedly find soothing. I was initially more than a bit skeptical of this; if I’d been cooped up for nine months in a space smaller than a bag of grill charcoal, the last thing I’d want to listen to is the previously inescapable THUMP-THUMP-THUMP of Mommy’s ticker again. Think about how annoying it is trying to get to sleep while the bass from the stereo next door is vibrating the plaster of your bedroom wall — this is going to pacify our baby? As usual, my wife ignored me and continued her search.

Enter Sleep Sheep. The Missus ordered one, I picked it up from our PO box on Friday afternoon and happy — or at least quieter — days are here again, however fleetingly.

Sleep Sheep doesn’t just have the heartbeat going for it. No, sir. As the website puts it:

Sleep Sheeps’ Soothing Sound
Soft and fluffy Sleep Sheep has 4 soothing and relaxing sounds
designed to help baby and you sleep through the night.
Mother’s Heartbeat
Mother’s heartbeat as heard in the womb. The soft, familiar sound that comforts babies during their development.
Spring Showers
The soft, consistent sounds of spring rain help create a cozy atmosphere to lull baby softly to sleep.
Ocean Surf
The calming sounds of ocean waves gently rolling against the sea shore provide a tranquil environment ideal for sleep.
Whale Songs
Gentle, harmonious whale songs promote relaxation, and are believed to elevate mind and spirit

… We’ll overlook the fact that in reality “Mother’s Heartbeat” bears an eerie resemblance to the ambient industrial noise in David Lynch’s ERASERHEAD, “Whale Songs” sounds like a mothership full of alien beings descending upon our house to snatch away my daughter and “Spring Showers” makes the Missus want to pee every time she hears it for more than thirty seconds.

“Ocean Surf”, on the other hand… NOW we’re talking. For some reason, “Ocean Surf” will put the Peanut into a coma so deep, you’d think I’d dropped a dozen sleeping tablets into a shot of bourbon and poured it down her throat. Hell, “Ocean Surf” is enough to render me and the wife comatose as well, though exhaustion may have something to do with it. And when I’m not drifting away into dreamland, the sound of the lapping waves actually soothes me to the point that I can almost imagine we’re living in a quaint little oceanside bungalow in Big Sur rather than a rental unit in a particularly unfashionable, hopelessly landlocked corner of the Valley.

Everybody wins, thanks to Sleep Sheep. For now, anyway.

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2 Comments on “Do Daddies Dream of Electric Sheep?”

  1. William Says:

    Can’t sleep? Try swaddling if you haven’t already. It saved our lives. If you feel like checking out a DVD that might help you guys (man, do we get desperate) look into “The Happiest Baby On The Block.” It’s on Amazon.

  2. writerdad303 Says:

    Oh, I’m a champion swaddler — and it works like a charm when she’s awake and fussy. But at night, when we’re trying to sleep, she has this tendency to break out of the swaddle, Lou Ferrigno style, and then the trouble begins. The SleepSack helps, though lately it’s been a little too warm to put her in (I can’t wait for summer to be over). The combo of Sleep Sheep and the binky now works pretty well, though last night was pretty rough despite our best efforts. I’m mainlining Starbucks as I type this.

    I’m totally checking out that DVD — thanks for the heads-up.

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